Get Your Getting Dressed Routine

What are Persistence & Grit?

A persistent person can continue on a given course of action in spite of challenges or barriers that arise. In other words, persistence is the ability to stick with something and keep trying. It's partner, grit, is the strength of character, and sometimes courage, to allow one to persist. Those who possess grit don't mind rolling up their sleeves, focusing on the task at hand, and sticking with it to completion despite the challenges that come their way.

Why does it matter?

Talent is helpful, but it's hard work, persistence and grit that unlock talent and turn capable people into success stories. As Thomas Edison so famously said, "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Practice with being persistent, including the chance to struggle and learn how to overcome struggle, will help kids later have ability to wade through and make sense of confusing new information, navigate difficult situations, and solve tough problems.

Further, studies like those discussed in Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman's NurtureShock tell us that kids will actually perform better when we praise their hard work instead of just telling them how smart or great they are. As parents, we also tend to offer kids activities which are enjoyable and attainable and, as such, too easy. Bear in mind that if we spare them frustration, we actually deny them the chance to work hard and develop persistence and grit.

What is Self Reliance?

Nearly all parents agree that we want to raise our children to become independent and self-reliant people. When they are babies, children rely on us for their basic needs and mobility. As they grow, they rely less directly on us for these basic needs but still need us for love, protection, direction and help. As they grow into adolescence and early adulthood, they will rely on us less and less, separating from us to prepare for the transition to adulthood. Even though much of the separation dance plays out during adolescence, how we offer our kids both support and independence in their early years paves the way for them to develop self reliance later on. Many well-intending parents may become too involved, protective or demanding of their children and, by doing so, actually foster dependence in them. In turn, their kids grow to rely on others for motivation, happiness and direction, unable to make sound decisions for themselves. Independent children, however, possess the belief that they are competent and capable of taking care of themselves. They were given the freedom to experience life and learn its many important lessons, both the joyful and the not-so-fun ones that come from taking risks and doing things for and by oneself.

Why does it matter?

Independent children emerge as intrinsically motivated, natural explorers. They are capable decision makers who have had practice weighing various options and, with the support and guidance of their parents, have been allowed to and lived by their own decisions. This kind of self reliance helps children navigate all realms of life. Academically, they advocate for themselves, take chances and try new things. Socially, they are less dependent on others for happiness, making them far more likely to weather the ups and downs of young friendships and social power dynamics. They have likely had the chance to identify and pursue their own interests and, therefore, have a rich sense of self. They are also more likely to make sound judgements and far less susceptible to engage in negative behaviors, succumb to peer pressure or become either bully or victim. As children grow into adulthood, these same patterns continue to play out. Self-reliant adults have an easier time feeling happiness, self-respect and the respect of others. They are better decision-makers and often accomplish more given the self confidence and self awareness that comes from having been allowed to try, succeed, fail and learn along the way.   “Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

What is Teamwork?

Teamwork is the ability to be both an individual contributor and a supportive member of a group. Not easy for little ones, but never too early to start learning how. Although the notion of teamwork seems rather self explanatory, the combination of skills that are required for kids to effectively work on a team is rather complex. People can work effectively in a group when they have a sense of their own strengths and needs, the ability to understand the needs and motivations of others, the ability to agree and focus on a common goal, and the capacity to adjust their personal needs for the good of the group. Needless to say, young kids are too young to master these skills, but they can make tremendous progress if we give them genuine experience with teamwork and help them develop the foundations that underlie this more complex set of skills. On a most basic level, kids start to build teamwork skills as they learn to negotiate and share limited resources. Anyone who has kids know that these skills do not come naturally, but are developed with age and practice. Kids who have experience sharing and working in groups without the dominant management of parent or authority figure (e.g. the good old pick-up game of kick-the-can that was managed only by the kids in the neighborhood) get much more opportunity to develop the self awareness and skills needed for effective collaboration. The more chances we give kids to feel the pleasure in sharing and giving, the more quickly they become effective at sharing. In addition, when we model how to set a goal and allow kids to practice working towards that goal, we model the behavior they will eventually adopt as their won. Finally, when they experience success as a member of a team, they develop a lasting sense of the power of teamwork and the motivation to start to value a team over themselves.

Why does it matter?

Collaboration makes the cut on nearly every list of top 21st-century skills—and it has become not just a goal but a requirement for most jobs. Technology increasingly enables people to work together with people who differ by geography, culture and mindset, and businesses and institutions worldwide expect employees to work effectively in both face-to-face and in virtual teams. Those who collaborate effectively will not only be effective workers but will be poised to help find solutions to the increasingly complicated challenges this young generation will face. Further, in most schools from elementary level up, kids get more out of the curriculum if they know how to work well in groups, and this trend of increased peer-to peer-teaching and learning is only gaining ground in older school years. Research even shows that how well young children solve simple problems in groups predicts how they will transition to and fare in formal schooling.